Daddy was stir-frying bitter melons, which Sammy doesn’t like to eat. His favourite is fried rice.
Sammy experiences confusion:
Sammy: Oh it smells so good, like fried rice! But I know it’s not fried rice. It’s something terrible!
* * *
Daddy was getting ready to leave for work.
Sammy: Daddy, in how many minutes are you going?
Daddy: You want to leave the house together? You want to go now? Are you ready?
Sammy: Yes
Daddy: (Noticing Sammy was wearing scruffy pants) Change your pants
Sammy: Don’t care. Next.
Daddy: Put on undies.
Sammy: Don’t care. Next.
Daddy: Did you shower?
Sammy: Don’t care. Next.
Daddy: (Giving up) Let’s go.
* * *
The cat killed a bird. Pia was trying to place the dead bird’s body in a plastic bag but the cat keeps trying to pull it out.
Mummy: Sammy, go help your sister. She’s trying to put the bird in a bag but the cat keeps pulling it out.
Sammy: (playing on the computer) And why would I want to take part in that?
* * *
Sammy was studying Algebra with Daddy, how to combine like terms.
Daddy: So can you answer this? (2xy + x + 5xy = 20)
Sammy: (Confused) There’s so many letters! How can I find out what x and y is?
Daddy: We’re not looking for the values, they don’t have any values.
Sammy: Oh. (Glaring at the letters) You are worthless to me!
* * *
Pia was remembering when Sammy broke the swan sculpture she made in school.
Pia: Do you remember the swan? I told you to be careful because if you drop it, it will break.
Sammy: Oh yeah…
Pia: Then when I came back, it was broken.
Sammy: I was playing with it, and then accidentally dropped it, but it didn’t break at first, so I dropped it higher. And it broke!
* * *
Daddy was teaching Sammy Algebra, how to combine like terms.
Daddy: So if the terms have the same literal coefficients, like in 3x, and 5x, then you can add or subtract the terms. Do you get it?
Sammy: Yes, but I really don’t care.
* * *
Mummy noticed that Sammy’s feet are stinky.
Mummy: Sammy, how long since you changed your socks?
Sammy: Uhmm…you don’t want to know.
Mummy: Change your socks now.
Sammy: (busy playing at the computer) I can’t…. it’s against the law.
* * *
Mummy went to the children’s room to place Sammy’s clothes in his cabinet.
Mummy: Sammy, where’s the key to open the window?
Sammy: I don’t know.
Mummy: We need to open the windows and let fresh air in. Your room smells so stinky.
Sammy: But it’s supposed to smell like that, so that you don’t come in.
* * *
Sammy achieved a perfect score in a national maths competition, becoming one of the 1.5% of the 32,000 test takers.
Daddy: Well done Sammy! You know what this means right?
Sammy: What?
Daddy: Since you’ve shown you can achieve a perfect score, we now expect you to do this every year!
* * *
Mummy takes every opportunity to remind the children how lucky they are by telling stories of how life was hard in our youth.
One day she and Sammy were together ahead of the others. Suddenly Sammy sprinted away from Mummy and joined up with Daddy.
Daddy: Why did you leave Mummy?
Sammy: She started telling stories about her life…
Daddy: And?
Sammy: So I ran for my life!
* * *
Mummy wanted to ask Dominic something:
Mummy: Anya are you busy?
Dominic: (In the toilet. No response)
Sammy: (Mimicking the voice of an automated phone attendant) Anya is busy. Please try another line.
* * *
Sammy was busy playing games at the computer. Daddy was at the kitchen counter. He had just finished chopping garlic, onions, and other veggies, and was about to start cooking lunch.
Daddy: Sammy…
Sammy: WHAT!
Daddy: Can you clean up the countertop?
Sammy: <groan> Oh, all right…
Daddy: Thank you.
Sammy: You’re not very welcome.
* * *
The family was eating roast chicken for lunch and there was some marinade sauce in the chicken’s plastic bag.
Sammy: Oh there’s some left over laminated sauce from the chicken. Can I pour it on my plate?
Daddy: What do you mean?
Sammy: You know how they laminate the chicken before serving it to make it tasty?
Daddy: (Confused) No they don’t laminate the chicken.
Sammy: Yes they do! They do it to make it yummy.
Daddy: No laminate means to cover it with plastic.
Sammy: Oh oops I meant marinade.
(PS: Sammy wrote this blog entry)
* * *
The family went to RMIT University for its Open Day, to check out this university. Two weeks ago Mum and the kids went to the University of Melbourne for a similar event.
While sitting in an auditorium waiting for a talk to begin, Daddy asked Sammy (10 years old) what he thinks about the two Unis:
Daddy: Sammy, which Uni do you prefer? This one or the one you visited last time?
Sammy: (Munching on a Mentos candy) I like this one better.
Daddy: Why?
Sammy: This one gives you more options.
Daddy: (Whoa. ‘Options’. Big word for a child. Is my son a genius?) Options huh? What do you mean?
Sammy: They give out many different lollies. They only had free coffee in the other school. Plus I think they have barbecue every week here.
RMIT it is then.
* * *
One night, it started hailing, making such a loud ruckus around the house. Sammy was worried:
Sammy: Daddy, is that hail?
Daddy: I think so.
Sammy: It feels like the house will collapse!
Sammy: (Addressing the house) BE STRONG! BE CONFIDENT!
* * *
Sammy’s eating lunch:
Mummy: Sammy, do you want some more food?
Sammy: Mummy, you’re making me eat too much. You’re making me fat…are you going to eat me?
* * *
Pia was asking what their nationality was:
Pia: What else are we?
Daddy: Well, we’re also Australian citizens
Pia: But we weren’t born here
Daddy: We immigrated to Australia
Pia: So we’re immigrators?
* * *
Sammy came home from school with a handbag made out of newspaper. Like all handbags made from newspaper, it was pathetic. But Sammy enjoyed learning how to make one.
Daddy: Sammy, get your maths book. We will study now.
Sammy: (creating another paper handbag) There's something more important than studying maths you know.
Daddy: Like what?
Sammy: Making a paper bag.
Pia was practicing solving math word problems. She's a bit rusty.
Pia: Daddy, how many feet in a foot?
Sammy is learning algebra. He’s trying to solve the equation:
2 (X – 12) = X + 12
Sammy: First, multiply the 2, so we get:
2X – 24 = X + 12
Sammy: Then, I remove –24 from one side by adding 24 to both sides:
2X – 24 + 24 = X + 24
2X = 24
X = 12
Dad: That’s wrong. What happened to the 12 on the right side?
Sammy: It died.
* * *
