Coulda Been More Helpful

Sammy wants to heat his sandwich. But he'stoo small to reach the microwave.

Sammy: Daddy, can you heat my food?

Daddy: (Busy cooking) Domu, Pia, can you help Sammy?

No response.

Daddy: Come on, after all he helps you when you need something.

Sammy: No I don't.

Pia's Second Email

She is still waiting for Daddy to unblock the games.  She sent a polite follow-up email:

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From: Pia
Subject: WHY YOU LITTLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HEY I HAVEN"T ...........WHY YOU LITTLE........... ITS ALREADY EATING TIME..................

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

UNBLOCK THE FREAKING GAMES

I SWEAR WHEN YOU GET HOME I"M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT"S ALREADY DARN EATING TIME AND YA KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!

I DIDN"T EVEN GET TO PLAY THE DARN GAMES

IF YOU ...............................

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

YOU MEANIE U #$%^&*

GSTFTDYXYTY%^FSA$STSFSRFSISGTGXYYSRSTYXIUUYSSTSYSYUSYISTSEWERTYUIOASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM<DFGHJKRTYUSDFGHSDFGHVBXCVBNDFGHERTYUIUIOGHJKZXCVBNMSDFGHJKRTYUIBGNMSDFGHSDFVGBHSXDCFVGBHNSDCFVGBHNTGHYJMNHJMBNM<BNMBNMHJFGHEXRDCTFVGYBHNJDCFVGBYHNJXDRCFVTGBHNJFVGBUNHJMESXDRCFTVGYTUIOESRDTFYGVUNHIJOWERFTGYHUJIKECTFVGYBHNJWEDRFTVGTYBHNJDEFVGYBHNJDFGRETYGUHIJUEDRFTGYUIDRCFTVGYBHERDTFGVYUCTRFVYGTBUERTFVYGERTFYG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEN YOU GET HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Pia's First Email

 The children are on school holidays.  Usually they play games on the internet before lunch.  Today Daddy has forgotten to unblock the games.  He's at work. 
Pia has learned how to use email:
 
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From: Pia
Subject: Hi

You ready to die daddy?

BECAUSE IF YA DON"T UNBLOCK THE GAMES I"M GONNA KILL YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW I h8 it when u do dat

Now my time gonna run out and I will not be able to play computer 4 eva!!!!!!

SO YA HEARD ME IF U DON"T UNBLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tks for listening

c a

 

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* * *

Dumb Master of Chess

While playing against an opponent in chess.com...

Sammy advances one of his pawns pawn into a square protected by his horse, but attacked by the opponent’s bishop and a pawn.

Sammy: You think I’m dumb? Huh?

The opponent promptly captures Sammy’s pawn.

Sammy: DAMMIT! I’m dumb!

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