Mile-High Club

Sammy joined the mile-high club -- the other mile-high club.

Suffering through 9 hours of a 14-hour flight from MEL to LAX -- his first ever flight since he was six months old -- Sammy started to feel like throwing up.

He and Pia ran to where the toilets are.  But each toilet were showing a red light – occupied! 

Panic! 

But they spotted one showing green.  They rushed to it and pushed  the door open. Inside was an older gentleman brushing his teeth.

But Sammy couldn’t hold it in anymore.  He vomited on the floor of the toilet, surprising and terrifying the man still inside, who rushed out, saving himself

* * *

No, You!

Sammy has acquired a new automated response.  Partly joking, partly trying to get away from his chores.

Daddy: Sammy, time to study.

Sammy: No, you!

---

Daddy: Sammy, throw out the rubbish.

Sammy: No, you!

---

Daddy: Sammy, take a shower now.

Sammy: No, you!

---

Daddy: Sammy,…

Sammy: No, you!

Daddy:… eat some chocolates.

Sammy: No, me!

* * *

Filial Millennial

Sammy was reading the short story ‘The Washwoman’ (by Isaac Singer). The poor, old washwoman had a rich son who abandoned her and left her to fend for herself.

Daddy: So, Sammy, when you grow up and become rich, don’t be like that woman’s son and abandon Mummy and me.

Sammy: Actually, I think I will be like that rich son.

Daddy: So, you’ll abandon us?

Sammy: Basically.

* * *

Sammy the Internet Service Provider

Sammy turned on the internet (actually the cable modem connection to the internet).  After a few minutes he notices Daddy turning on his computer.

Sammy: (teasingly) Hey Daddy, I turned on the internet so you don't have to wait 5 minutes for it to turn on.  Are you happy?

Daddy: Yes, I'm delirious....  Do you know what 'delirious' means?

Sammy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!  Do not try to teach me anything when it's not time to study.  I don't want to learn anything new!  Don't you dare teach me...

* * *

Breaking Bad Rice

The family has been watching Breaking Bad on DVD.  It's Sammy's job to cook rice  (Sammy's 11 years old).  Sometimes it takes a lot of reminders, especially when he's in front of the computer, which is All.The.Time.  He tries to delay having to do the chore by pretending to not know what it is he needs to do.

Daddy: Sammy, cook the rice.

Sammy: Cook meth?

* * *

Press '1' to Go Away

Daddy called the home number from the office.  Sammy answered the phone.  He knew it was Daddy calling.

Sammy: (In automated voice recorder tone) You have reached Sammy's number.  If you want to talk to Sammy, please press '1'.  If you are Daddy, please go away. BEEEEEEP.

* * *

Sammy was busy playing on the computer.  Desperately enjoying the last day of term break (he doesn't know there's one more week of vacation left). 

He had just finished doing the Gauss Year 7 exam and Daddy wants to review his mistakes.

Daddy: Sammy, come on, let's review your mistakes.

Sammy:  (hard at play on the computer) Daddy, please, you know better than that...

* * *

Knock-Off Oranges

We want Sammy to learn to eat fruit.  He avoids them whenever he can.  One day he tried out some of the grapefruit Mummy had cut up.

Sammy: (After tasting grapefruit) Eww…How do you even like this?  It has terrible aftertaste!

Daddy: I like it.

Sammy: Grapefruit is like the rip-off version of oranges!

* * *