The Fact of Life

3-year old Sammy has been having tantrums, complaining about everything.  He’s starting to drive exasperate Mummy.

Mummy: <Sigh> Sammy, give me a break.

Sammy: Mummy, there is no break!

* * *

Robot

Sammy is walking about the house pretending to be a robot.

Sammy: I…am…a…robot.  I…am…a…robot. I…am…a…robot.

After a while, he goes to Mummy.

Sammy: Mummy…I…need…to…poo.

* * *

Giving way

Sammy is very headstrong and always wants to get his way.  Still, sometimes he doesn’t give us too much trouble.

Mummy: Sammy, turn that TV off, it’s time to eat.

Sammy: I’m watching

Mummy: Turn it off now. We will eat.

Sammy: Alright, stinky butt!

* * *

Wednesday Bath

Sammy always refers to events occuring on ‘Wednesday’.  He’s very headstrong and always wants to get his way. 

Today he needs to take a bath but he doesn’t want to:

Daddy: Sammy, take your clothes off. We’ll take a bath.

Sammy: I don’t want to take a bath.

Daddy: Come on now, hurry.

Sammy: But I don’t want to take a bath!

Daddy: You have to take a bath.  You’re stinky!

Sammy: I’m not stinky!  I already take a bath on Wednesday!

* * *

3 Wishes

Daddy and the children are talking about what they would wish for if a genie gave them 3 wishes:

Daddy: Sammy, what will you wish for?

Sammy: A leaf!

* * *

C is for Dog

Daddy and Sammy are working through a picture book.

Daddy: (pointing to a cat') ‘C’, Kuh…Kuh…Cat

Sammy: (pointing to a pair of pants) ‘P’, Uhh…uhh..underwear

* * *

B is for Cat

Daddy and Sammy are looking at a picture book.

Daddy: (pointing to an apple) ‘A’, Ah..Ah…Apple.

Sammy: (pointing to a boat) ‘B’, Buh…Buh…Ship

* * *

Doomsday

Mummy hates it when the children play with water and wet the floor. 

The children know this and avoid playing with water. Except Pia.

One day while playing with her toys at the sink, Pia spills water all over the kitchen floor.

Pia: (quick glance at Mummy) Oops!

Pia:  (running away) I’m doomed!

* * *

Greate taste

Sammy likes experimenting with expressions that he picks up around him. One day while eating in the kitchen:

Sammy: Mmmm. This is good!  It tases like something!

* * *

Ice

It is summer and often very hot. Sammy has gotten to drinking iced water.  He frequently asks for water with ice cubes.

Sammy: Daddy, can I have water with ice please?

Daddy puts a couple of ice cubes in Sammy’s cup.

Sammy: Daddy, I said I want four ice cubes

Daddy: How many do you have?

Sammy: (counts) One…two!

Daddy puts a couple more in.

Sammy: (counts) One…two…three…four.  Good job Daddy!

* * *

Biology lesson

Pia is in grade 1.  One day, Pia approaches Daddy:

Pia: Daddy, I’m pregnant!

(She stuffed a balloon inside the back of her pyjamas, so that her butt looks very big.)

Daddy: When you’re pregnant your bum doesn’t get big. Your tummy does.

Pia: Yes it does!

* * *

Wake up…I need to poo

Mummy is taking a nap.  Sammy tiptoes to Mummy and softly whispers in her ear:

Sammy: Mummy…I need to poo

* * *

Slush

It has only been recently become apparent to us that Sammy uses ‘sl’ when pronouncing a word that begins with ‘fl’.

After making poo:

Sammy: I want to slush the toilet.

Seeing a cartoon character fly:

Sammy: Look! He can sly!

Holding a flower:

Sammy: Look Daddy, a slahwer!

 

* * *

Werewolf

Sammy likes eating ‘chocolate’.  This is hazelnut spread which he likes to eat direct from a spoon.  One day he scooped an extra large serving, ate it all up messily, with the brown stuff all over his mouth.

Mummy: Come Sammy, let’s wash your face.

Sammy: (always the contrarian) I don’t need to wash my face!

Mummy: Your mouth is so messy.  Look at yourself in the mirror.

Sammy goes to the mirror and considers his appearance.

Sammy: Mummy, I look like a werewolf!

* * *

Bob the Builder

Mummy and Sammy were walking to school.  They come across a construction worker along the footpath:

Sammy: (singing loudly) Bob the Builder…

(If you don’t know Bob the Builder…http://www.bobthebuilder.com/au/index.asp)

 

* * *

Post-tantrum

Pia had a tantrum again.  Daddy wants her to be a bit more considerate to Mummy.

Daddy: Pia, whenever you have tantrums, it can sometimes make Mummy feel sick

Pia: How can she be sick?

Daddy: (grasping) Uhm…some of her body parts may become weaker and not function properly.

Pia: Like her tooth?

* * *

The Principal, 2

Pia says she wants to be a principal because she wants to “ring the bell.”

Daddy: (laughing) You want to be a principal because you want to ring the bell?

Pia: (becomes angry) It’s not funny! It’s very important. If nobody rings the bell, how will we know that it’s time to play. School will be SO BORING!

* * *

The Principal

Every now and then, Daddy or Mummy asks the children what they want to be when they grow up.

Daddy: Pia, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Pia: I want to be a principal.

Daddy: (Impressed with her ambition. Pia used to want to be a ‘mere’ teacher). Why do you want to be a principal?

Pia: So I can ring the bell.

* * *

Big Hum Theory

Daddy’s current favourite show is Big Bang Theory.  The children love watching it too.  They especially like the catchy theme song. Whenever it plays, they sing along.  Of course, they don’t know all the words:

The children: …14 billion years ago…we built the wall… we built the pyramids…hum… hum… geology…hum… hum… biology… hum..hum..and it all started with a big BANG!

* * *

Cinders and Ashes

Sammy loves watching Thomas the Train, whose favourite expression of surprise seems to be ‘Cinders and ashes!’

One day while Mummy was hanging the clothes, Sammy was lpaying in the grass and soil with his digger, pretending it was Thomas:

Sammy: Choo-choo….cinders and ashes!

* * *