Nancy Drew

Pia and Sammy are playing, hiding around the sofa. But they have lots of stuff lying around.

Mummy: Sammy! Pia! Pack up your mess before you continue playing.

Pia: Mummy, we’re not playing!  We’re solving a mystery!

* * *

Good Grooming

Lunchtime.  As always, Pia is taking her time to finish.  She’s now rubbing her spoon back and forth against her upper row of teeth.

Mummy: Pia, what are you doing?

Pia: I’m sharpening my teeth!

* * *

The Weight of the World

Sammy played with his toys but didn’t pick up the mess afterwards.

Mummy: Sammy, pack up your toys now.

Sammy: But Achie has to help me

Mummy: No, you made the mess yourself.  You have to pack up yourself.

Sammy: (Grumbling) Ohhh, why do I have to pack up the whole world!

* * *

Vegie Zombie Apocalypse

Bedtime. Sammy asks Daddy a question:

Sammy: Daddy, if all the people became brocolli, what would you do?

* * *

Zen Question

Sammy approaches Daddy with a zen question:

Sammy: Daddy, if there’s a Ninja and no one can see him, is he still a Ninja?

* * *

Programmer

Dominic (9) and Sammy (4) have caught the programming bug through Scratch (www.scratch.mit.edu).

Sammy likes designing new games, but doesn’t really quite know how to make his sprites move yet.  Here’s a couple of his games:

 

 

 

Time Traveler

Sammy approaches Daddy.  He wants to tell Daddy how his day went. Or how his day will go?

Sammy: Daddy, later I had lots of fun!

* * *

The Writer

Sammy is very eager to learn how to write.  He teaches himself by copying what other people have written, or by making up his own writing.  He copied the writing below from one of Domu’s messages:

 

Scary Tales

Sammy is sleepy and wants to go to sleep. Daddy tucks him in.

Daddy: Do you want me to tell you a story?

Sammy: Yes

Daddy: Do you like ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’?

Sammy: Not that!

Daddy: Why not?

Sammy: Scary.

Daddy: (amused, thinks about an even scarier one) How about ‘Hansel and Gretel?’

Sammy: Super-scary

Daddy: How about ‘Little Red Riding Hood’

Sammy: Ok, but only the start of the story.

* * *

Tinkering tailor

Daddy was at the computer.  Sammy walked over to Daddy, wearing his pajamas and holding a pair of scissors.

Sammy: Daddy, how come this scissors cannot cut my PJs?

 

* * *

Food of the dogs

Pia and Sammy were playing.  Then Pia went into the kitchen.

Pia: Come here, Sammy!  Let’s make a proper dog meal for you.

 

* * *

Medical terminology

While having lunch:

Sammy: Daddy, I have blood in my mouth

Daddy: What happened?

Sammy: First, I saw that I have no blood in my mouth. Then I crashed. Then I saw blood.

Then he noticed that there was no more blood.

Sammy: Look! My blood is dead already.

* * *

Learning to Write

Sammy loves to learn.  At four years old he can now read all the words in Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, and so on.

Now he’s teaching himself how to write.  He can write all the numbers, except 2.

Sammy: (tries to write ‘2’, but he always twirls the bottom so it becomes a ‘3’). D’oh!

Sammy: (tries again, same result) Augghhh!

Sammy: (tries again, same result) D’OH!

* * *

Spelling test

We are teaching the children how to understand Mandarin Chinese.  They also pick up some Spanish words from watching Dora the Explorer. 

One day, Daddy was watching TV.  Sammy comes up to him:

Sammy: Daddy, how do you spell ching chung chang chawa in Spanish?

* * *

Hundreds served

Daddy was reading a bedtime story.  He came across the word ‘century’.

Daddy: Pia, do you know what ‘century’ means?

Pia: (thinking) Uhm… one hundred years?

Daddy: Correct.

Sammy: Daddy, ‘century’ means one hundred years?

Daddy: Yes.

Sammy: What do you call one hundred meals?

* * *

Acceptance

Two years after accepting that our Pia is not going to be as dainty as Snow White, or Princess Aurora:

Pia: (while eating lunch) I’m saving my fart for later.

* * *

Love begins with me

Mummy and Pia and Domu went off to school. Daddy and Sammy stayed behind.

Sammy: Goodbye Mummy!  I love you Mummy!

Daddy: Do you love Mummy?

Sammy: Yes

Daddy: Do you love Achie?

Sammy: Yes

Daddy: Do you love Domu?

Sammy: Yes… and I love me!

* * *

Smash Hulk

The family sat down to watch DVD.  Pia had wanted to watch “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”, but we eventually went for the “The Hulk” (starring Edward Norton)

Pia: Oh… I don’t want to watch “The Hunk”

Domu: (laughing) It’s “The Hulk” not “The Hunk”

Pia: Anyway I don’t like him

Daddy: Why don’t you like the Hulk?

Pia: Because he has a green ass.

* * *

Nine lives

Domu was playing with his ball.  Sammy grabbed his ball.  Domu was extremely annoyed. 

Domu: (grabs the ball back) Sammy, don’t do that!

Sammy: I can if I want to!

Domu: If you do that again, I’m going to kill you!

Sammy: (shocked and angry) Don’t ever kill me again!

* * *

5 Year Bearded Boy

Sammy: (looking at Daddy’s stubble) Daddy, why do you have a beard?

Daddy: You will have a beard too when you grow up.

Sammy: No I won’t!  I don’t want to.

Daddy: But you will have a beard whether you like it or not.

Sammy: I won’t have a beard.

Daddy: Yes you will.

Sammy: Ok, let’s see if I will have a beard when I’m 5 years old.

* * *

If I were a rich man…

One morning, Sammy was up early.  He’s not used to seeing Daddy in the morning (most mornings, Daddy leaves for work before the children get up). 

Sammy: Daddy, will you stay home today?

Daddy: No, I have to go to work.

Sammy: So you can get some money?

Daddy: Yes.  I have to work so we can have money.

Sammy: And then we can buy anything?

Daddy: No, so we can stay in this house. And also so you can have some money.

Sammy: So I can have lots of money?

Daddy: What will you buy when you have lots of money?

Sammy: I will buy noodles!

* * *

Counting with Time

Daddy and Sammy need to pick up Pia from school at 3:15.  It is now 2pm.

Sammy: Can I have noodles?

Daddy: Here’s your noodles.  When you finish eating, we will pick up Achie from school, ok?

Sammy: Do I have to hurry up in eating?

Daddy: No, we have lots of time.

Sammy: How many times do we have?

* * *

Spaghetti Logic

Lunchtime.  Sammy and Daddy are alone at home.  We have leftover spaghetti.

Daddy: Sammy, do you want spaghetti?

Sammy: (busy playing computer) What?

Daddy: Do you want to eat spaghetti?

Sammy: Yes.

Daddy: Ok, let me heat it first.

Sammy: (runs away from computer to Daddy) Hey! Don’t eat my spaghetti!

* * *

Pissed off

When 4 year old Sammy needs to pee, he usually tells Mummy or Daddy: “I want to pee”.  Today, he grew up very very quickly:

Sammy: Mummy. . . I need to piss!"

* * *

God is Rich

Daddy was teaching Sammy how to pray the Our Father

Daddy: Our Father who art in heaven…

Sammy: Our Father who art in heaven…

Daddy: Hallowed by they name

Sammy: Hallowed be diamond.

 

* * *

Spelling Lesson

Sammy really likes learning how to read.  He’s able to recognise at least 20 words now, and he can spell some from memory.

One day while Daddy and Sammy are watching TV together:

Sammy: Daddy can you spell ‘Duh’

Daddy: (not sure what word Sammy said) What word?

Sammy: Duh!  Can you spell ‘Duh’

Daddy: Sure. It’s D-U-H.

Sammy: That’s not right.  Duh is spelled T-H-E.

* * *

Fighting Words

When Sammy picks up new phrases, sometimes he gets them just a little bit wrong.

One day, Sammy and Dominic are playing martial arts fighting:

Sammy: (in kung fu stance) You… won’t… pay… for… this!

 

* * *

Cooking magic

Sammy likes to help Mummy cook. He is also practicing doing his magic card tricks and always practices the phrase: “Pick a card… any card.”

Mummy: Sammy, get a fork from the drawer.

Sammy: (talking to himself) Get a fork…any fork.

* * *

Fool proof magic trick

Sammy wants to perform the magic card trick, but he’s not having success in finding from the deck the card Daddy picked. 

This time he comes up with a fool proof plan.

Sammy: (holding out a ‘deck’ made up of only one card) Daddy, pick a card! Any card!

* * *

Young magicians

Dominic has gotten an interest in performing magic card tricks. The other children got the bug too, even 3 year old Sammy.

Sammy: (holding out a deck of cards) Daddy, pick a card! Any card!

Daddy: (picks a card)

Sammy: Now put it back.

Daddy: (puts back the card)

Sammy: (shuffles the cards and then starts looking for the card).  Is this your card?

Daddy: No

Sammy: (picks out another card). Is this your card?

Daddy: Nope.

Sammy: (perplexed) But which one is your card?

* * *

My Other Mother

Sammy has learned how to cross his eyes.

Sammy: (eyes crossed and looking at Mummy) Look! I have two Mummies!

* * *

A passion for nothing

While watching Herbie (the love bug), the lead actress tells her Dad: “Racing is in my blood!”

Daddy: Dominic, is racing in your blood?

Dominic: No, science is in my blood, then running, then kung fu.

Daddy: How about you Pia, what’s in your blood?

Pia: Nothing.

* * *

Counting with the head

Sammy likes to learn while pooing so we teach him counting, ABCs, etc while he sits and does his thing.

Daddy: (holding up three fingers) Sammy, how many fingers?

Sammy: (points at each finger while counting) one…two…three!

Daddy: (holds up 5 fingers) How many?

Sammy: (points at each finger while counting) one…two…three…four…five!

Daddy: (wants Sammy to count mentally without pointing) Don’t use your fingers, just count in your head.

Sammy: Count with my head?

Daddy: (holds up four fingers) Yes

Sammy: (touches each finger with his forehead and counts) one…two…three…four!

* * *

Worm Boy

Mummy was talking to the kids about gardening.

Mummy: It’s good for the plants if there are worms in the soil cause they make holes in the soil for the plants to grow into.

Sammy: But I can make holes in the soil with a stick!

* * *

Help

Everyone at home was helping Pia with her homework – to build a diorama.

Mummy: Oh nice, everyone is helping Pia.

Sammy: (wants to say he’s helping too) And I’m helping myself!

* * *

I only have nine lives

Sammy did something to one of Domu’s stuff.  Domu was very angry.

Domu: Sammy! Why did you ruin my things!  I will kill you!

Sammy: (scared but indignant) Don’t kill me!

Domu stops.

Sammy: Don’t kill me ever again!

* * *

Whip it

Daddy was working on his computer.  He overhears:

Pia: Sammy you better tell Daddy what you did or else I will whip you!

* * *

Birthday Greetings from…

dear domo,

                  a very pleasant and happy birhtday to you.you are now a young handsome man.how i wish you could e-mail me and marrate to us abot mama,papa,pia,and sam.i miss you all.i aften talk about you to make your cousins here be familiar.you youngest cousin mastered your names.i hope you dont forget me.I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

                   GRANDMA

dear domo,

                 happy b-day cousin.how tall are you are?are you enjoying your schooling??i hope we will also see each other in person.

     BYE AND ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

                   GAIL

Biology Lesson

Daddy was assisting Sammy to poo.  He thought this might be a good time to teach sammy some science.

Daddy: Sammy, do you know where poo comes from?

Sammy: (thinks a bit, then looks Daddy straight in the eyes) From my butt.

* * *

When will we laugh?

Daddy borrowed a comedy movie:

Daddy: Hey Dominic, Pia, come here watch this. It’s a funny movie.

The children sat down and watched. 

After 5 minutes of watching parts where there was nothing funny:

Pia: Daddy, when will we laugh?

* * *

Food critic

The children were having lunch.  3-year old Sammy likes Mummy’s cooking:

Sammy: Good job Mummy! This tastes like something!

* * *

Food in the appropriate place

Daddy was busy at the computer.  Sammy comes up to him:

Sammy: Daddy, I need food

Daddy: (busy) uh-huh. Food?

Sammy: Yes, I need food.

Daddy: You need food?

Sammy: Yes, in my mouth.

Daddy: Food in your mouth? You want to eat?

Sammy: Yes!

* * *

Card by Pia

Pia likes creating greeting cards on the fly:

Season’s Greetings from Hong Kong

Bring it on

Sammy wants to play on the computer. It is currently off. He wants to run it on:

Sammy: Daddy, can I take on the computer?

* * *

How to Grow My Bean

By Sophia