We are teaching the children how to understand Mandarin Chinese. They also pick up some Spanish words from watching Dora the Explorer.
One day, Daddy was watching TV. Sammy comes up to him:
Sammy: Daddy, how do you spell ching chung chang chawa in Spanish?
* * *
Daddy was reading a bedtime story. He came across the word ‘century’.
Daddy: Pia, do you know what ‘century’ means?
Pia: (thinking) Uhm… one hundred years?
Daddy: Correct.
Sammy: Daddy, ‘century’ means one hundred years?
Daddy: Yes.
Sammy: What do you call one hundred meals?
* * *
Two years after accepting that our Pia is not going to be as dainty as Snow White, or Princess Aurora:
Pia: (while eating lunch) I’m saving my fart for later.
* * *
Mummy and Pia and Domu went off to school. Daddy and Sammy stayed behind.
Sammy: Goodbye Mummy! I love you Mummy!
Daddy: Do you love Mummy?
Sammy: Yes
Daddy: Do you love Achie?
Sammy: Yes
Daddy: Do you love Domu?
Sammy: Yes… and I love me!
* * *
The family sat down to watch DVD. Pia had wanted to watch “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”, but we eventually went for the “The Hulk” (starring Edward Norton)
Pia: Oh… I don’t want to watch “The Hunk”
Domu: (laughing) It’s “The Hulk” not “The Hunk”
Pia: Anyway I don’t like him
Daddy: Why don’t you like the Hulk?
Pia: Because he has a green ass.
* * *
Domu was playing with his ball. Sammy grabbed his ball. Domu was extremely annoyed.
Domu: (grabs the ball back) Sammy, don’t do that!
Sammy: I can if I want to!
Domu: If you do that again, I’m going to kill you!
Sammy: (shocked and angry) Don’t ever kill me again!
* * *
Sammy: (looking at Daddy’s stubble) Daddy, why do you have a beard?
Daddy: You will have a beard too when you grow up.
Sammy: No I won’t! I don’t want to.
Daddy: But you will have a beard whether you like it or not.
Sammy: I won’t have a beard.
Daddy: Yes you will.
Sammy: Ok, let’s see if I will have a beard when I’m 5 years old.
* * *
One morning, Sammy was up early. He’s not used to seeing Daddy in the morning (most mornings, Daddy leaves for work before the children get up).
Sammy: Daddy, will you stay home today?
Daddy: No, I have to go to work.
Sammy: So you can get some money?
Daddy: Yes. I have to work so we can have money.
Sammy: And then we can buy anything?
Daddy: No, so we can stay in this house. And also so you can have some money.
Sammy: So I can have lots of money?
Daddy: What will you buy when you have lots of money?
Sammy: I will buy noodles!
* * *
Daddy and Sammy need to pick up Pia from school at 3:15. It is now 2pm.
Sammy: Can I have noodles?
Daddy: Here’s your noodles. When you finish eating, we will pick up Achie from school, ok?
Sammy: Do I have to hurry up in eating?
Daddy: No, we have lots of time.
Sammy: How many times do we have?
* * *
Lunchtime. Sammy and Daddy are alone at home. We have leftover spaghetti.
Daddy: Sammy, do you want spaghetti?
Sammy: (busy playing computer) What?
Daddy: Do you want to eat spaghetti?
Sammy: Yes.
Daddy: Ok, let me heat it first.
Sammy: (runs away from computer to Daddy) Hey! Don’t eat my spaghetti!
* * *
When 4 year old Sammy needs to pee, he usually tells Mummy or Daddy: “I want to pee”. Today, he grew up very very quickly:
Sammy: Mummy. . . I need to piss!"
* * *
Daddy was teaching Sammy how to pray the Our Father
Daddy: Our Father who art in heaven…
Sammy: Our Father who art in heaven…
Daddy: Hallowed by they name
Sammy: Hallowed be diamond.
* * *
Sammy really likes learning how to read. He’s able to recognise at least 20 words now, and he can spell some from memory.
One day while Daddy and Sammy are watching TV together:
Sammy: Daddy can you spell ‘Duh’
Daddy: (not sure what word Sammy said) What word?
Sammy: Duh! Can you spell ‘Duh’
Daddy: Sure. It’s D-U-H.
Sammy: That’s not right. Duh is spelled T-H-E.
* * *
When Sammy picks up new phrases, sometimes he gets them just a little bit wrong.
One day, Sammy and Dominic are playing martial arts fighting:
Sammy: (in kung fu stance) You… won’t… pay… for… this!
* * *
Sammy likes to help Mummy cook. He is also practicing doing his magic card tricks and always practices the phrase: “Pick a card… any card.”
Mummy: Sammy, get a fork from the drawer.
Sammy: (talking to himself) Get a fork…any fork.
* * *
Sammy wants to perform the magic card trick, but he’s not having success in finding from the deck the card Daddy picked.
This time he comes up with a fool proof plan.
Sammy: (holding out a ‘deck’ made up of only one card) Daddy, pick a card! Any card!
* * *
Dominic has gotten an interest in performing magic card tricks. The other children got the bug too, even 3 year old Sammy.
Sammy: (holding out a deck of cards) Daddy, pick a card! Any card!
Daddy: (picks a card)
Sammy: Now put it back.
Daddy: (puts back the card)
Sammy: (shuffles the cards and then starts looking for the card). Is this your card?
Daddy: No
Sammy: (picks out another card). Is this your card?
Daddy: Nope.
Sammy: (perplexed) But which one is your card?
* * *
Sammy has learned how to cross his eyes.
Sammy: (eyes crossed and looking at Mummy) Look! I have two Mummies!
* * *
While watching Herbie (the love bug), the lead actress tells her Dad: “Racing is in my blood!”
Daddy: Dominic, is racing in your blood?
Dominic: No, science is in my blood, then running, then kung fu.
Daddy: How about you Pia, what’s in your blood?
Pia: Nothing.
* * *
Sammy likes to learn while pooing so we teach him counting, ABCs, etc while he sits and does his thing.
Daddy: (holding up three fingers) Sammy, how many fingers?
Sammy: (points at each finger while counting) one…two…three!
Daddy: (holds up 5 fingers) How many?
Sammy: (points at each finger while counting) one…two…three…four…five!
Daddy: (wants Sammy to count mentally without pointing) Don’t use your fingers, just count in your head.
Sammy: Count with my head?
Daddy: (holds up four fingers) Yes
Sammy: (touches each finger with his forehead and counts) one…two…three…four!
* * *
