Daddy wakes up from a Sunday nap. The house is empty, except for Sammy sleeping beside him. On Daddy's computer a handwritten note was taped:
| Daddy we went to the playgruwn to go bikeing you should know were we are. form Mommy |
* * *
Late at night, after watching Jurassic Park 3.
Pia: Daddy, I want to put my bones on the outside of my body so I will be inside out.
Daddy: (tired) It's already nighttime. Time to sleep.
Pia: Ok, I will do it tomorrow.
* * *
Dominic and Pia enjoy playing chess. They seem to have received the belief that capturing an opponent's last pawn is very bad form.
Daddy's opinion is that the children will learn best if he does not play easy with them (he's not really very good in chess anyway), so gives no notice to this strange belief.
Daddy and Pia playing chess. Daddy capture's Pia's last pawn:
Pia: (indignant) Daddy! You must not capture my last pawn!
Daddy: Why?
Dominic: (near sobbing) You must not capture the last pawn.
Daddy: But why?
Pia: (now crying) You must promise not to eat my last pawn. I don't want to play anymore!
Daddy: (still confused) Why?
* * *
Pia held the tip of her tongue between her thumb and index finger and began wagging it.
Daddy: What are you doing?
Pia: I'm wobbling my tongue?
Daddy: Why?
Pia: So it will fall off and I will grow a new one.
Daddy: Why do you want your tongue to fall off?
Pia: Because it's very old.
* * *
Daddy was using the computer. Pia approaches:
Pia: Daddy...
Daddy: Yes?
Pia: You're not pretty.
* * *
On her birthday.
Pia: Lord thank you that I am 6 years old. Thank you for keeping me safe from the bad children. I pray that I will have a wobbly tooth.
* * *
Pia gets a toy doctor's kit for her birthday:
Pia: (with her plastic stethoscope round her neck) Daddy, open your mouth. I will get your heart.
Daddy: You will get my heart?
Pia: I didn't say 'get'. I said 'Open your mouth and I will check your heart'
* * *
The family was playing Boggle. Not very successfully -- it was hard for young children to find +words, so Daddy gave tips to the children on how to find words more effectively:
Daddy: Look around the vowels. Do you know what vowels are?
Dominic: A-E-I-O-U
Pia: Daddy, if you have no brain you will think that vowels are A-N-G-T-X
* * *
Dominic and Daddy in the kitchen doing homework. Dominic's handwriting needs improvement. He mumbled something. Daddy did not quite get what the words were:
Daddy: What did you say Dominic?
Dominic: (annoyed) Daddy, you can understand me clearly. When I say words, it's not like when I write words and you cannot understand my writing.
Sigh. In other words, Daddy should have understood what was said because Dominic could not have possibly said the words illegibly.
* * *
Sammy gets off a dining chair and promptly falls on his bum.
Sammy: (raising both hands in the air) Tadah!
* * *
Daddy holds two books in front of Pia:
Daddy: Which one is thicker?
Pia: (Instantly points to one) This one!
Daddy: Why?
Pia: What is 'thick'?
* * *
Dominic is studying about abstract nouns. Pia is listening.
Dominic: (reading) "An abstract noun is a noun that you cannot touch but can be thought about"
Daddy: Do you get what an abstract noun is? It's something you cannot touch.
Pia: Daddy, I know an abstract noun!
Daddy: Ok
Pia: A poisonous spider!
* * *
Dominic and Daddy are playing chess. Pia wants to learn chess too:
Pia: Daddy, can I play chess?
Daddy: Sure, when we finish this game you can play. But do you know how to play?
Pia: I know what the pieces are called.
Daddy: (holding up a castle) What is this piece?
Pia: Rook!
Daddy: Good. What's another name for it?
Pia: Roof!
* *
Daddy plucks out a piece of hair from his nose.
Pia: Daddy, why do you take out hair from your nose?
Daddy: Because it was getting long
Pia: Is it painful?
Daddy: Yes -- don't do it.
Pia: (pointing to where mustaches grow) But if the hair in my nose grows long, I will have a beard, like Santa Claus
* * *
Daddy is busy at the computer. Mummy is busy at the computer. Pia is playing and doing something interesting to herself.
Pia: Look at me!
(no one looks at her)
Pia: Daddy, look at me!
(Daddy is uninterested and doesn't look even though Pia is just behind him)
Pia: Hey, Daddy, look at me. I'm easy to look at.
* * *
Mummy has started training Sammy to go without nappies. Every 30 minutes, Mummy asks Sammy if he wants to pee. It's not easy -- Sammy still has difficulty understanding the difference between "I will pee" and "I already peed".
One day, Sammy, without pants, got his plate, and slid it between his legs:
Pia: (seeing the act) Sammy! That's disgusting!
* * *
While praying before bed:
Daddy, Dominic, Pia: "And give us this day our daily bread..."
Daddy: (interrupts, to help the children understand the prayer) What does our daily bread mean?
Pia: The bread in church
Daddy: Yes, but also it means the things we need, like food, clothing, ...
Dominic: and toilets
* * *
Still teaching Sammy math:
Daddy: Two plus three?
Sammy: Two!
Daddy: No, it's "five"
Sammy: Fight!
Daddy: "Five"
Sammy: Fight
Daddy: "Fiv-uh"
Sammy: Fight-uh
* * *
Sammy has been exceedingly good in math:
Daddy: One plus one?
Sammy: Two!
Daddy: 8 divided by 4?
Sammy: Two!
Daddy: square root of 4?
Sammy: Two!
So we decided it was time for the next level:
Daddy: Two plus two?
Sammy: Two!
Daddy: No, it's "Four"
Sammy: Faaaart
Daddy: Four!
Sammy: Fart!
Daddy: Fooooooor
Sammy:Faaaaaaaaart
* * *
Daddy and Sammy are in the kitchen. Mummy's mug of green tea is on the table, in front of Daddy. He goes into teaching mode and decides to teach Sammy a new word:
Daddy: (pointing to the mug of tea) Sammy, say 'Tea'
Sammy: (pointing to the mug) Pee
Daddy: No, 'Tea'
Sammy: (with more enthusiasm -- he has learned a new word) Pee!
Daddy: Tuh-eee
Sammy: Puh-eee
Daddy: (losing hope) Tea
Sammy: Pee.
* * *
