Future Master Chefs

Mummy is thinking of what to cook for dinner tonight.

Mummy: I think I have to take out the pork from the freezer so we can cook it later.

Pia: What’s “pork” ?

Sammy: Fish!

* * *

Let’s hop to the hardware

There’s a large DIY hardware shop in Australia called ‘Bunning’s Warehouse.’  They sometimes have workshops for kids. We brought the children once and they liked it.

One day:

Sammy: Mummy, when can we go again to Bunny’s Warehouse?

* * *

Baby Boomer

Four-year old Sammy approaches Daddy:

Sammy: Daddy…

Daddy: Yes?

Sammy: I want to rock and roll.

* * *

Spy Web

After watching Jackie Chan’s movie, “The Spy Next Door”, the children want to be spies when they grow up:

Pia: Daddy, do spies have to work at night?

Daddy: Sometimes.

Pia: Oh, I don’t want to go out at night.

Daddy: Why?

Pia: I might touch some web!  I’m afraid of webs.

* * *

Spy

The children love Jackie Chan’s movie, “The Spy Next Door”.  They all want to be ‘spies’ when they grow up.

Pia: Daddy, I want to be a spy when I grow up.

Daddy: Ok.

Pia: Do spies always have to work at night?

Daddy: Sometimes.  Why?

Pia: I’m afraid of the dark.

* * *

Boring Homework

The children have to take their NAPLAN tests soon, and we are busy preparing them.  Pia has to type out the 1000 most common words in English, to help her remember their spelling:

Pia: (after taking 1 hour to type just 20 of the words) Oh…  this is so boring!  This will take forever!

Daddy: Just keep on typing.

Pia: I want to punch you!

* * *

Early Morning Soccer

Sammy likes to play soccer. One night:

Sammy: Mummy, can we play football?

Mummy: It’s already late Sammy.  We can play tomorrow.

Sammy: Ok

The next day. Sunday. 8:00 am.  Sammy tiptoes into Mummy and Daddy’s room. Mummy’s still asleep. 

Sammy: (whispering into Mummy’s ear) Mummy… can we play football now?

* * *

Getting older

Sammy was looking for a toy he had been playing with. It was at Daddy’s desk earlier.

Sammy: Daddy, did you see the toy I put on your desk?

Daddy: You took it from my desk.

Sammy: Do you know where I put it?

Daddy: No.

(Sammy keeps looking nearby, then suddenly sees where had misplaced it)

Sammy: Doh! There it is.  I’m a silly old man!

* * *

Boys Become Daddies, Girls Become Mummies

Sammy was still thinking about the cute baby he saw the other day.

Sammy: Daddy, when I grow up will I be a Mummy and have a baby?

Daddy: No, you will be a Daddy.

Sammy: But how do you know?  I might be a girl when I grow up.

Daddy: You don’t change when you grow up. When boys grow up they become men.  When girls grow up they become women.

Sammy: Oh.

* * *

Really really really really young Dad

At church. Sammy was very much fascinated with a cute baby behind us. 

He leans over to Daddy, whispering softly while still looking at the baby:

Sammy: Daddy…

Daddy: Yes?

Sammy: When can I have a baby?

* * *

Message from the heart

When the children make offense, sometimes they write an apology and hand it to the other person, or post it on a wall in the house.  So sometimes Pia will write “Mummy, sorry for not finishing my lunch”

One day, Sammy comes to Daddy with pencil and paper.  He is going to write a sorry letter.

Sammy: Daddy, how do you spell “I’m”?

Daddy: I – apostrophe – M

Sammy: How do you spell “sorry”?

Daddy: S-O-R-R-Y

Sammy: How do you spell “I made”

Daddy: I – M-A-D-E

Sammy: How do you spell “poison ball”?

* * *

Attempting Murder

Pia grabs Daddys legs, and tries to pull him to the ground.

Daddy: Stop it!

Pia: I’m trying to see if I can kill you.

* * *

Question

Bedtime.  Pia seems unsettled, trying to think of how to ask a question that’s been on her mind for a while.

Pia: Daddy… uhm…

Daddy: Yes?

Pia: Why do you and Mummy fart so much?

* * *

Why we have to eat

One Sunday after watching a movie at the theatre, we went to the supermarket. Some biscuit snacks (Shapes) were on sale, so we bought 10 boxes, to be used when the occassion calls for snacks (like the Friday family movie night).

Later that night, Sammy wanted to convince Mummy that we should have some of the biscuits. After all, it’s all bought and paid for:

Sammy: Mummy can we eat the Shapes?

Mummy: That’s for later

Sammy: Muuuuuummmmmyyyyyy!  If we pay for it, that means we have to eat it!

* * *

Tough Guy

4 year old Sammy likes to play at fighting with Daddy.  He will call out ‘Wiiiiiiiiing Chun!’ and then the attack commences.

During one encounter, Daddy made it so that the encounter resulted in Sammy being separated from the clothes he was wearing.  It was a traumatic experience for Sammy, and he hates being reminded of it.

One day:

Sammy: Wiiiiiiiiing Chun!

Daddy: (tired and not in the mood) Remember the last time we fought? What happened to your clothes

Sammy: (Grrrrr!) If you do that to me again, I will pull out your lungs!

* * *

Words that should be in the dictionary but are

Time for Daddy and Sammy to pick up Domu and Pia from school. 

Daddy: Sammy, change your clothes now, we have to pick up Achie and Anya.  Hurry up!

Sammy: OK, but I can’t be very fast ok?  I’m only 4 years old.

(Later, Sammy emerges with outdoor clothes)

Daddy: Good job Sammy! But your shirt is backwards

Sammy: Doh!  Can you help me make it frontwards?

(A check later shows ‘frontwards’ is in the dictionary)

* * *

Teen Math

Pia is preparing for he NAPLAN exams.  We want to make sure her math is solid.  School has just started after a month and a half of Christmas vacation, so she’s rusty.

She has to multiply 73 x 72. Multiplying 7 x 2, she knows the answer is 14, but not sure  whether to write down the ‘4’ or the ‘1’.

Pia: Daddy, should I write the four or the teen?

* * *

The Girl Who Will Not Play With Fire

…if she knows what’s good for her.

Daddy and Pia were talking one day:

Pia: Daddy, are there things that don’t burn?

Daddy: (delighted that Pia is asking about science) Well, everything burns, except they burn at different temperatures.  For example, a small flame will burn your hair, but it won’t burn this spoon.

Pia: It won’t burn?

Daddy: No

Pia: (eyes light up) Then I can play with fire!

* * *

Beyond Naughty

The children very much like to play at the dining table while eating lunch or dinner or breakfast. It drives us nuts because it takes them two hours just to finish up eating.

At lunch one day, Sammy was playing at the table:

Mummy: Sammy! Will you stop playing please! Eat your food!

Sammy: Muuuummmmeeeeeee!  I can be evil if I want to!

* * *

A Special Hug

Mummy and Sammy are sitting on the sofa watching TV.  Mummy hugs Sammy:

Sammy: Smelly Mama!

* * *