Mirror mirror on the wall...

Pia had just had her hair cut into a bob.  It was a little uneven, but passable for a 6-year old (Daddy cuts her hair).

One early morning the family had to leave early to go to church. There was no time to shower.  Pia's hair was the definition of a bad hair day -- hair on the left side of her head was massed together into a ball half the size of her head.  The hair on the right side of her face separated into thick strands going in every direction, like hair on corn cobs.

Pia looks into the mirror:

Pia: Ohh....I don't look so good...

* * *

Gluttony

Sammy: I want to pee

Daddy: (busy at the computer, ignores Sammy)

Sammy: (this time with more urgency) I want to pee.

Daddy: (still ignoring)

Sammy: (Now jumping up and down) Unh...unh...I want to pee!!! 

Daddy:  Ok, let's go

Daddy heads to the bathroom, but Sammy heads to the kitchen

Daddy: (goes to the kitchen, puzzled) What're you doing there?

Sammy points to the chocolate biscuit in his hand. He wants to set it down somewhere before going into the toilet.

Daddy: Ok.  (heads to the toilet and waits for Sammy)

Sammy doesn't come. So Daddy goes back to the kitchen.  Sammy sits at the dining table, biting into a big strawberry he discovered, and completely forgetting he needed to pee.

Daddy: What are you doing?!? Let's pee!

Sammy: (munching) I eating.

* * *

Choose your own assignment

Pia's assignment was multiplication (23 x 5, 45 x 7, etc). The equations were written down on her notebook:

Pia: <solving diligently, but unfortunately doing it as an addition problem, not multiplication>

Mummy: (after noticing what Pia had done) Pia, this is wrong! Why are you adding 23 + 5? You should multiply them.

Pia: (throws the notebook away!) I like addition! Change it to addition!

* * *

Batgirl

With two ends of a blanket knotted round her neck, Pia jumped in bed, playing.  She trips on her 'cape' and falls down on her behind:

Pia: (talking to self) Batgirls fall down when they're not looking.

* * *

Naughty Santa

Dominic and Pia singing a duet in the bedroom:

You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout cause I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is naughty tonight.

* * *

Question and Answer

While walking home:

Pia: Daddy, why do some policemen change their clothes into not uniform so the bad men do not know they are policemen?

Daddy: You already answered your own question.

Pia: (after pondering her question for a moment) Oh! I didn't know that!

* * *

Show and Tell

Every student in Pia's class is asked to do a show-and-tell each week.  Pia's turn is Mondays.

One weekend:

Pia: (excited) Daddy! I know what I will do for my show and tell in school!

Daddy: What will you do?

Pia: I will show and tell my farting sounds.

* * *

(It's not as bad as it sounds.  She just learned how to make 'farting' sounds by cupping her left hand on her right armpit and pumping the right arm in quick sequence.  That's what she wanted to show-and-tell)

Dizzy season

During spring and summer, the days are longer and the sun dusk isn't until 8:30pm.  During these days, the family goes to church on Saturday night instead of Sundays.

One Saturday afternoon:

Daddy: Pia, Dominic get dressed now. We're going out.

Pia: Where are we going?

Daddy: We're going to church.

Pia: (feeling lazy, doesn't want to go) BUT DADDY!  It's Saturday!  We go to church on Sundays!

Daddy: Yes, but today we're going on Saturday.

Pia: (tries to find an excuse) But Daddy, my head hurts!

Daddy: Why does it hurt?

Pia: Because I'm getting dizzy.  Sometimes we go to church on Sunday, sometimes we go on Saturday!

* * *

Pass the sult please

When it comes to food, Dominic is the most picky of the three children.  He often wouldn't try food he hasn't tried before, whereas Sammy still chews tables and dirty slippers.

On the way to a relative's house, we were concerned that Dominic will refuse to eat what is served:

Daddy: Dominic, listen, when we get to our friend's house, you must eat what they serve you. If you don't they will feel insulted.

Dominic: What does 'insulted' mean?

Daddy: Hmm...let's say you have some candy, and you give some to your classmate.  But your classmate just throws your candy away instead of enjoying them.  How would you feel?  That what 'insulted' means.

Dominic: Oh, I thought 'insulted' means put some salt in it.

* * *

Tough

Daddy always reminds the children to finish their homework before he gets home from work

It's 4pm now, and Daddy makes a call to home from the office:

Daddy: (on the phone with Mummy) Have the children done their homework?

Mummy: Dominic has, but Pia hasn't

Daddy: (groan, not again) Let me talk to her

Mummy hands the phone to Pia.

Pia: (in her toughest if-you're-looking-for-trouble-you've-come-to-the-right-place voice): WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY!

* * *

My Turn

Mummy was carrying Sammy.  She notices some dry crusted boogies all along the rim of Sammy's nostrils and proceeds to pick them off.

After a couple of seconds Sammy grabs Mummy's hand, gently pushes it away, and then starts to pick at his nose:

Sammy: My turn!

* * *

So near, yet so far

Dominic was trying teaching Sammy how to count. Sammy already knows "two" comes after "one", and "three" comes after "two", but hasn't said "one-two-three" all by himself:

Dominic: Sammy, count: "One"

Sammy: "Two!" 

Dominic: No, "One"

Sammy: No, one

Dominic: Two

Sammy: Three!

Dominic: No, "Two"

Sammy: No, two

Surrender came quickly.

* * *

Playing Dress-up Aborted

Daddy arrives home from work.  He had forgotten to put away his house clothes before leaving for work this morning:

Pia: Daddy, when you went to work, you left your  clothes on the bed.  You forgot to hang them up.

Daddy: Oh really?

Pia: I wanted to try them on because I wanted to see how big they are

Daddy: Did you try them on?

Pia: No, because they're smelly.

* * *

How to identify a fake letter from Mummy

Daddy wakes up from a Sunday nap.  The house is empty, except for Sammy sleeping beside him.  On Daddy's computer a handwritten note was taped:

Daddy we went to the playgruwn to go bikeing you should know were we are.  form Mommy

 

* * *

Inside Out

Late at night, after watching Jurassic Park 3.

Pia: Daddy, I want to put my bones on the outside of my body so I will be inside out.

Daddy: (tired) It's already nighttime.  Time to sleep.

Pia: Ok, I will do it tomorrow.

* * *

You must not eat the last pawn!

Dominic and Pia enjoy playing chess.  They seem to have received the belief that capturing an opponent's last pawn is very bad form.

Daddy's opinion is that the children will learn best if he does not play easy with them (he's not really very good in chess anyway), so gives no notice to this strange belief.

Daddy and Pia playing chess.  Daddy capture's Pia's last pawn:

Pia: (indignant) Daddy! You must not capture my last pawn!

Daddy: Why?

Dominic: (near sobbing) You must not capture the last pawn.

Daddy: But why?

Pia: (now crying) You must promise not to eat my last pawn. I don't want to play anymore!

Daddy: (still confused) Why?

* * *

Wobbly Tongue

Pia held the tip of her tongue between her thumb and index finger and began wagging it.

Daddy: What are you doing?

Pia: I'm wobbling my tongue?

Daddy: Why?

Pia: So it will fall off and I will grow a new one.

Daddy: Why do you want your tongue to fall off?

Pia: Because it's very old.

* * *

It's in the eyes of the beholder, sweetie

Daddy was using the computer.  Pia approaches:

Pia: Daddy...

Daddy: Yes?

Pia: You're not pretty.

* * *

Pia's Prayer 2

On her birthday.

Pia: Lord thank you that I am 6 years old. Thank you for keeping me safe from the bad children.  I pray that I will have a wobbly tooth.

* * *

Heart check

Pia gets a toy doctor's kit for her birthday:

Pia: (with her plastic stethoscope round her neck) Daddy, open your mouth. I will get your heart.

Daddy: You will get my heart?

Pia: I didn't say 'get'. I said 'Open your mouth and I will check your heart'

* * *