Pia’s Drawing–3rd Day of Christmas

 

Pia’s Drawing – 2nd Day of Christmas

 

Threat

Sammy was sitting on the sofa. Sammy is annoyed that he can’t use the computer, because Daddy is using it.

Sammy: Daddy, when I feel like I have a lot of fart, I will fart on your face.

* * *

A Child’s Pure Love

Daddy changed the passwords of the computers to control the children from spending too much time playing on them.

One day during lunch, after having watched the film ‘Anne of Green Gables’ where the children saw Anne’s beloved old friend die from a sudden heart attack:

Sammy: Daddy, I don’t want you to die.

Daddy: Thank you Sammy, but I’m not dying.  Why are you afraid I might die?

Sammy: Because if you die, then we can’t use the computer because we don’t know the password.

Daddy: Mummy knows the password.

Sammy: (Relieved) Phew!

* * *

Behaviour Control

When Sammy spends too much time playing games on the computer, Mummy has to remind him to stop. Sometimes Sammy hates having to stop.

Sammy: Mummy, next time when you don’t let me play the computer, I will hide your mobile phone.

* * *

Magic Water

Sammy sometimes complain of headaches, especially when the weather changes from hot to cool:

Sammy: (Heading to the fridge) My head hurts.  I think I need to get some fainting water.

* * *

How a Wireless Mouse Works

Daddy and Sammy were looking at two wireless mouses in an electronics catalogue.  One was $26 and the other was $59.

Sammy: (pointing at the cheaper one $26) Daddy, why is this only $26?

Daddy: (trying to figure out the difference) Hmm… let’s see… this more expensive one is wireless.  That means it can talk to the computer without…

Sammy: Without a telephone?

* * *

Toilet Aphorism

Once in a while, when Sammy plays a computer game and gets so focused at it,  he forgets to answer the call of nature (he starts pooing in his pants). 

It used to happen quite often, but not much anymore. Except last night it happened again:

Daddy: (carrying Sammy to the toilet) Sammy!  Why did you poo in your pants?  Didn’t you know it was coming?

Sammy: Daddy!  If we don’t make mistakes, we don’t learn!

* * *

Oil Crisis

Daddy and Mummy were watching Frasier on the computer.  Sammy walks up to them:

Sammy: Daddy, you might die.

Daddy: (?!?!) What do you mean I might die?

Sammy: We are running out of oil.

Daddy: (At first thinking that Sammy was watching a documentary about the earth running out of oil, but: a) Sammy is 5 years old, b) They were watching ‘Surf’s Up!’) What do you mean oil?

Sammy: The oil we use to make food!

Mummy: Oh, you mean cooking oil?

Sammy: Yes! We have only very little left, and if we run out we cannot cook food anymore!

Daddy: If we run out of cooking oil we can just go to the grocery to buy more.

Sammy: (Relieved) Oh, phew!

* * *

Trophy and Medal

Domu did very in the Australasian Maths Olympiad. Yesterday the school principal handed him 3 awards:  a patch for achieving a score in the top 25% nationwide, a medal for achieving a score in the top 10% nationwide, and a trophy for achieving the highest individual score in his school.  Well done!

* * *

Games

The children love playing ‘World of Goo’. They also like playing mindless shoot the aliens games.

Sammy: I’m going to play World of Goo

Daddy: That’s good.  I like World of Goo.

Sammy: Why do you like World of Goo?

Daddy: Because it’s educational.  It makes you think and use your head.  Not like the other games you play where you just shoot enemies.

Sammy: Daddy, the less the games teach you, the more fun they are.

* * *

Mathemagician

Mummy has been teaching Sammy how to multiply.  He now knows at least the times 2, times 3, times 5, and times 10 tables.

One day…Daddy was washing dishes.  Sammy was standing beside the fridge.

Sammy: Daddy, I already know the times 4 table.  You can test me.

Daddy: Ok, 4 x 4?

Sammy: (looks to one side of the fridge and thinks a couple of seconds) 16!

Daddy: 4 x 7?

Sammy: (looks to one side of the fridge and thinks a couple of seconds) 28!

Daddy: Very good. 

The next day, Daddy discovers there is a multiplication table pasted on the side of the fridge where Sammy was “thinking”

* * *

Not quite right, but not quite wrong

Daddy was reading a Bible story to the children during bedtime.

Daddy: “Jesus went to the sea. A multitude of people followed him. Some came from Galilee..” Where did some of the people come from?

Pia: The gallery?

* * *

Bubby Fischer Declines a Match

Sammy is bored and is asking Daddy what he can do.

Sammy: Daddy, what can I do?

Mummy: Come Sammy, lets’ play chess.

Sammy: I don’t want to play chess.

Daddy: Why don’t you like to play chess?

Sammy: (whispering) I already know how to beat Mummy

* * *

Unexciting Walk

Domu and Pia are using one computer.  Mummy is using the other computer.  Daddy is watching TV.

But Sammy has go nothing to do.

Sammy: Mummy, what can I do?

Mummy: Why don’t you play computer?

Sammy: Achie and Anya are using the computer (starts walking around the living room) All I can do is walk.  It’s so boring.

* * *

Chess Trainer

After learning how chess pieces move, about three months ago, Sammy beat Daddy.

A few weeks later he was able to checkmate Mummy! But Sammy is a benevolent winner:

Sammy: Mummy, if you want to be trained by me, we must play chess again.

* * *

This is no place like home

The family was watching Karate Kid (starring Jaden Smith as ‘Dre’).

Dre and his Mum had moved to China less than a week ago, but Dre was having a tough time with big Kung Fu bullies in school.

In the street with his Mum:

Dre: (crying) I want to go home!

Dre’s Mum: THIS is home, Dre.

Sammy: (confused - Dre and his Mum were outside, in the street) That’s not home! They’re outside!

* * *

Bubby Fischer a Lifetime of Experience

Sammy beat at chess Daddy once.  Then Daddy beat Sammy. The score is 1-1.

It’s time for championship game.  Daddy beat Sammy.  Sammy starts crying.

Daddy: Don’t cry. You can’t always win.  How can you win? I’ve been playing for twenty years. You’ve only been playing for 2 days, so how can you win?

Sammy: Not 2 days! 3 days!

* * *

Bubby Fischer

Sammy at age 4 (going on 5) has discovered chess.  He knows the moves now and is poring through a book by Bobby Fischer.

After playing with Daddy and ‘beating’ Daddy, Sammy promises to take it easier next time:

Sammy: Daddy, next time when we play chess I will play “easy”, ok. I won’t play “hard”.

* * *

Oh My Gosh

Mummy was telling the kids about teeth, and that they should take care of their baby teeth.  Sammy runs to Daddy:

Sammy: Daddy, OH MY GOSH!

Daddy: What?

Sammy: All my teeth are baby teeth!

* * *