The Stoyr Wirter

Pia loves horses.  She also loves to write stories. But her spelling needs improvement.

She drafted a story with the interesting title:

 

The Hores Who Ran Away from the Big Bad Wolf

* * *

Faith, Hope, and Charity 2

The 3 theological virtues are: faith, hope, charity (or love).  The children were finding the 3 words strange-sounding while they tried to memorise them:

Daddy: Pia, what are the 3 theological virtues?

Pia: (thinking)… hate … hope … charity?

* * *

Faith, Hope, and Charity

The children were learning about the 3 theological virtues: faith, hope, and charity.  Three strange words. The children were struggling to remember them:

Daddy: Sammy, what are the 3 theological virtues?

Sammy: Fake… hope… charity

* * *

There’s the Rub

The children were playing with a toy yacht construction set.  It had hundreds of small plastic parts which interconnect. 

Sammy built a 15-inch long stick which bends when you wave it.

Sammy: (waving his wand) Daddy! Mummy! Look! It’s like rubber…

(Then he noticed that it wasn’t bending at all).

Sammy: … but it doesn’t do much rubbing

* * *

Moon

Mummy and the kids were walking to the nearby playground. 

It was about 4pm, but the moon was visible.  Sammy noticed the moon was shaped like a crescent:

Sammy: Look!  Someone cut the moon!

* * *

Future Master Chefs

Mummy is thinking of what to cook for dinner tonight.

Mummy: I think I have to take out the pork from the freezer so we can cook it later.

Pia: What’s “pork” ?

Sammy: Fish!

* * *

Let’s hop to the hardware

There’s a large DIY hardware shop in Australia called ‘Bunning’s Warehouse.’  They sometimes have workshops for kids. We brought the children once and they liked it.

One day:

Sammy: Mummy, when can we go again to Bunny’s Warehouse?

* * *

Baby Boomer

Four-year old Sammy approaches Daddy:

Sammy: Daddy…

Daddy: Yes?

Sammy: I want to rock and roll.

* * *

Spy Web

After watching Jackie Chan’s movie, “The Spy Next Door”, the children want to be spies when they grow up:

Pia: Daddy, do spies have to work at night?

Daddy: Sometimes.

Pia: Oh, I don’t want to go out at night.

Daddy: Why?

Pia: I might touch some web!  I’m afraid of webs.

* * *

Spy

The children love Jackie Chan’s movie, “The Spy Next Door”.  They all want to be ‘spies’ when they grow up.

Pia: Daddy, I want to be a spy when I grow up.

Daddy: Ok.

Pia: Do spies always have to work at night?

Daddy: Sometimes.  Why?

Pia: I’m afraid of the dark.

* * *

Boring Homework

The children have to take their NAPLAN tests soon, and we are busy preparing them.  Pia has to type out the 1000 most common words in English, to help her remember their spelling:

Pia: (after taking 1 hour to type just 20 of the words) Oh…  this is so boring!  This will take forever!

Daddy: Just keep on typing.

Pia: I want to punch you!

* * *

Early Morning Soccer

Sammy likes to play soccer. One night:

Sammy: Mummy, can we play football?

Mummy: It’s already late Sammy.  We can play tomorrow.

Sammy: Ok

The next day. Sunday. 8:00 am.  Sammy tiptoes into Mummy and Daddy’s room. Mummy’s still asleep. 

Sammy: (whispering into Mummy’s ear) Mummy… can we play football now?

* * *

Getting older

Sammy was looking for a toy he had been playing with. It was at Daddy’s desk earlier.

Sammy: Daddy, did you see the toy I put on your desk?

Daddy: You took it from my desk.

Sammy: Do you know where I put it?

Daddy: No.

(Sammy keeps looking nearby, then suddenly sees where had misplaced it)

Sammy: Doh! There it is.  I’m a silly old man!

* * *

Boys Become Daddies, Girls Become Mummies

Sammy was still thinking about the cute baby he saw the other day.

Sammy: Daddy, when I grow up will I be a Mummy and have a baby?

Daddy: No, you will be a Daddy.

Sammy: But how do you know?  I might be a girl when I grow up.

Daddy: You don’t change when you grow up. When boys grow up they become men.  When girls grow up they become women.

Sammy: Oh.

* * *

Really really really really young Dad

At church. Sammy was very much fascinated with a cute baby behind us. 

He leans over to Daddy, whispering softly while still looking at the baby:

Sammy: Daddy…

Daddy: Yes?

Sammy: When can I have a baby?

* * *

Message from the heart

When the children make offense, sometimes they write an apology and hand it to the other person, or post it on a wall in the house.  So sometimes Pia will write “Mummy, sorry for not finishing my lunch”

One day, Sammy comes to Daddy with pencil and paper.  He is going to write a sorry letter.

Sammy: Daddy, how do you spell “I’m”?

Daddy: I – apostrophe – M

Sammy: How do you spell “sorry”?

Daddy: S-O-R-R-Y

Sammy: How do you spell “I made”

Daddy: I – M-A-D-E

Sammy: How do you spell “poison ball”?

* * *

Attempting Murder

Pia grabs Daddys legs, and tries to pull him to the ground.

Daddy: Stop it!

Pia: I’m trying to see if I can kill you.

* * *

Question

Bedtime.  Pia seems unsettled, trying to think of how to ask a question that’s been on her mind for a while.

Pia: Daddy… uhm…

Daddy: Yes?

Pia: Why do you and Mummy fart so much?

* * *

Why we have to eat

One Sunday after watching a movie at the theatre, we went to the supermarket. Some biscuit snacks (Shapes) were on sale, so we bought 10 boxes, to be used when the occassion calls for snacks (like the Friday family movie night).

Later that night, Sammy wanted to convince Mummy that we should have some of the biscuits. After all, it’s all bought and paid for:

Sammy: Mummy can we eat the Shapes?

Mummy: That’s for later

Sammy: Muuuuuummmmmyyyyyy!  If we pay for it, that means we have to eat it!

* * *

Tough Guy

4 year old Sammy likes to play at fighting with Daddy.  He will call out ‘Wiiiiiiiiing Chun!’ and then the attack commences.

During one encounter, Daddy made it so that the encounter resulted in Sammy being separated from the clothes he was wearing.  It was a traumatic experience for Sammy, and he hates being reminded of it.

One day:

Sammy: Wiiiiiiiiing Chun!

Daddy: (tired and not in the mood) Remember the last time we fought? What happened to your clothes

Sammy: (Grrrrr!) If you do that to me again, I will pull out your lungs!

* * *

Words that should be in the dictionary but are

Time for Daddy and Sammy to pick up Domu and Pia from school. 

Daddy: Sammy, change your clothes now, we have to pick up Achie and Anya.  Hurry up!

Sammy: OK, but I can’t be very fast ok?  I’m only 4 years old.

(Later, Sammy emerges with outdoor clothes)

Daddy: Good job Sammy! But your shirt is backwards

Sammy: Doh!  Can you help me make it frontwards?

(A check later shows ‘frontwards’ is in the dictionary)

* * *

Teen Math

Pia is preparing for he NAPLAN exams.  We want to make sure her math is solid.  School has just started after a month and a half of Christmas vacation, so she’s rusty.

She has to multiply 73 x 72. Multiplying 7 x 2, she knows the answer is 14, but not sure  whether to write down the ‘4’ or the ‘1’.

Pia: Daddy, should I write the four or the teen?

* * *

The Girl Who Will Not Play With Fire

…if she knows what’s good for her.

Daddy and Pia were talking one day:

Pia: Daddy, are there things that don’t burn?

Daddy: (delighted that Pia is asking about science) Well, everything burns, except they burn at different temperatures.  For example, a small flame will burn your hair, but it won’t burn this spoon.

Pia: It won’t burn?

Daddy: No

Pia: (eyes light up) Then I can play with fire!

* * *

Beyond Naughty

The children very much like to play at the dining table while eating lunch or dinner or breakfast. It drives us nuts because it takes them two hours just to finish up eating.

At lunch one day, Sammy was playing at the table:

Mummy: Sammy! Will you stop playing please! Eat your food!

Sammy: Muuuummmmeeeeeee!  I can be evil if I want to!

* * *

A Special Hug

Mummy and Sammy are sitting on the sofa watching TV.  Mummy hugs Sammy:

Sammy: Smelly Mama!

* * *

Uncommon Idioms

Sammy likes to try out new idioms he hears:

Sammy: Achie, don’t be such a baby cry!

* * *

The Evil that Mums Do

The children sometimes drive us nuts.  It takes ten reminders to make them brush their teeth, ten reminder to not play while eating.  Sometimes Mummy uses a stern voice:

Mummy:  Sammy, finish your food now.

Sammy: Mu…mmeee….you don’t have to be so evil!

* * *

I’ve Forgotten More Than I Know

The children are on school holidays for a month but school will be back in a couple of weeks. We gave Sammy some written math assignments (3+4, 7+8, 9+3, etc.).

When Mummy came to check his work:

Mummy: Sammy, why didn’t you write anything?  Have you forgotten how to add?  What’s 2+3?

Sammy: Mummy!  I know 2+3. It’s 5!

Mummy: So why didn’t you write it down?

Sammy: I forgot how to write the numbers.

* * *

In the Company of Monsters

Pia has been having problems sleeping.  She keeps getting bad dreams.    Even though she sleeps in the same bedroom as Domu and Sammy, she still wants to sleep with Mummy and Daddy.

One night, she fell asleep in the sofa in the living room and slept there the whole night, all by herself.

The next day:

Pia: Daddy, can I sleep in the sofa again tonight?

Daddy: (surprised) But won’t you get scared?

Pia: No.

Daddy: Why don’t you sleep in your bedroom?  At least Domu and Sammy are there with you when you get another bad dream.

Pia: I want to sleep here in the sofa.

Daddy: Even if you’re alone?

Pia: Yes.

Daddy: Won’t you be less scared if you are with Domu and Sammy?

Pia: No.

Daddy: Why not?

Pia: Because whenever I have a bad dream, in my dream Domu and Sammy are the monsters!

* * *

Nancy Drew

Pia and Sammy are playing, hiding around the sofa. But they have lots of stuff lying around.

Mummy: Sammy! Pia! Pack up your mess before you continue playing.

Pia: Mummy, we’re not playing!  We’re solving a mystery!

* * *

Good Grooming

Lunchtime.  As always, Pia is taking her time to finish.  She’s now rubbing her spoon back and forth against her upper row of teeth.

Mummy: Pia, what are you doing?

Pia: I’m sharpening my teeth!

* * *

The Weight of the World

Sammy played with his toys but didn’t pick up the mess afterwards.

Mummy: Sammy, pack up your toys now.

Sammy: But Achie has to help me

Mummy: No, you made the mess yourself.  You have to pack up yourself.

Sammy: (Grumbling) Ohhh, why do I have to pack up the whole world!

* * *

Vegie Zombie Apocalypse

Bedtime. Sammy asks Daddy a question:

Sammy: Daddy, if all the people became brocolli, what would you do?

* * *

Zen Question

Sammy approaches Daddy with a zen question:

Sammy: Daddy, if there’s a Ninja and no one can see him, is he still a Ninja?

* * *

Programmer

Dominic (9) and Sammy (4) have caught the programming bug through Scratch (www.scratch.mit.edu).

Sammy likes designing new games, but doesn’t really quite know how to make his sprites move yet.  Here’s a couple of his games:

 

 

 

Time Traveler

Sammy approaches Daddy.  He wants to tell Daddy how his day went. Or how his day will go?

Sammy: Daddy, later I had lots of fun!

* * *

The Writer

Sammy is very eager to learn how to write.  He teaches himself by copying what other people have written, or by making up his own writing.  He copied the writing below from one of Domu’s messages:

 

Scary Tales

Sammy is sleepy and wants to go to sleep. Daddy tucks him in.

Daddy: Do you want me to tell you a story?

Sammy: Yes

Daddy: Do you like ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’?

Sammy: Not that!

Daddy: Why not?

Sammy: Scary.

Daddy: (amused, thinks about an even scarier one) How about ‘Hansel and Gretel?’

Sammy: Super-scary

Daddy: How about ‘Little Red Riding Hood’

Sammy: Ok, but only the start of the story.

* * *

Tinkering tailor

Daddy was at the computer.  Sammy walked over to Daddy, wearing his pajamas and holding a pair of scissors.

Sammy: Daddy, how come this scissors cannot cut my PJs?

 

* * *

Food of the dogs

Pia and Sammy were playing.  Then Pia went into the kitchen.

Pia: Come here, Sammy!  Let’s make a proper dog meal for you.

 

* * *

Medical terminology

While having lunch:

Sammy: Daddy, I have blood in my mouth

Daddy: What happened?

Sammy: First, I saw that I have no blood in my mouth. Then I crashed. Then I saw blood.

Then he noticed that there was no more blood.

Sammy: Look! My blood is dead already.

* * *

Learning to Write

Sammy loves to learn.  At four years old he can now read all the words in Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, and so on.

Now he’s teaching himself how to write.  He can write all the numbers, except 2.

Sammy: (tries to write ‘2’, but he always twirls the bottom so it becomes a ‘3’). D’oh!

Sammy: (tries again, same result) Augghhh!

Sammy: (tries again, same result) D’OH!

* * *

Spelling test

We are teaching the children how to understand Mandarin Chinese.  They also pick up some Spanish words from watching Dora the Explorer. 

One day, Daddy was watching TV.  Sammy comes up to him:

Sammy: Daddy, how do you spell ching chung chang chawa in Spanish?

* * *

Hundreds served

Daddy was reading a bedtime story.  He came across the word ‘century’.

Daddy: Pia, do you know what ‘century’ means?

Pia: (thinking) Uhm… one hundred years?

Daddy: Correct.

Sammy: Daddy, ‘century’ means one hundred years?

Daddy: Yes.

Sammy: What do you call one hundred meals?

* * *

Acceptance

Two years after accepting that our Pia is not going to be as dainty as Snow White, or Princess Aurora:

Pia: (while eating lunch) I’m saving my fart for later.

* * *

Love begins with me

Mummy and Pia and Domu went off to school. Daddy and Sammy stayed behind.

Sammy: Goodbye Mummy!  I love you Mummy!

Daddy: Do you love Mummy?

Sammy: Yes

Daddy: Do you love Achie?

Sammy: Yes

Daddy: Do you love Domu?

Sammy: Yes… and I love me!

* * *

Smash Hulk

The family sat down to watch DVD.  Pia had wanted to watch “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”, but we eventually went for the “The Hulk” (starring Edward Norton)

Pia: Oh… I don’t want to watch “The Hunk”

Domu: (laughing) It’s “The Hulk” not “The Hunk”

Pia: Anyway I don’t like him

Daddy: Why don’t you like the Hulk?

Pia: Because he has a green ass.

* * *

Nine lives

Domu was playing with his ball.  Sammy grabbed his ball.  Domu was extremely annoyed. 

Domu: (grabs the ball back) Sammy, don’t do that!

Sammy: I can if I want to!

Domu: If you do that again, I’m going to kill you!

Sammy: (shocked and angry) Don’t ever kill me again!

* * *

5 Year Bearded Boy

Sammy: (looking at Daddy’s stubble) Daddy, why do you have a beard?

Daddy: You will have a beard too when you grow up.

Sammy: No I won’t!  I don’t want to.

Daddy: But you will have a beard whether you like it or not.

Sammy: I won’t have a beard.

Daddy: Yes you will.

Sammy: Ok, let’s see if I will have a beard when I’m 5 years old.

* * *

If I were a rich man…

One morning, Sammy was up early.  He’s not used to seeing Daddy in the morning (most mornings, Daddy leaves for work before the children get up). 

Sammy: Daddy, will you stay home today?

Daddy: No, I have to go to work.

Sammy: So you can get some money?

Daddy: Yes.  I have to work so we can have money.

Sammy: And then we can buy anything?

Daddy: No, so we can stay in this house. And also so you can have some money.

Sammy: So I can have lots of money?

Daddy: What will you buy when you have lots of money?

Sammy: I will buy noodles!

* * *

Counting with Time

Daddy and Sammy need to pick up Pia from school at 3:15.  It is now 2pm.

Sammy: Can I have noodles?

Daddy: Here’s your noodles.  When you finish eating, we will pick up Achie from school, ok?

Sammy: Do I have to hurry up in eating?

Daddy: No, we have lots of time.

Sammy: How many times do we have?

* * *

Spaghetti Logic

Lunchtime.  Sammy and Daddy are alone at home.  We have leftover spaghetti.

Daddy: Sammy, do you want spaghetti?

Sammy: (busy playing computer) What?

Daddy: Do you want to eat spaghetti?

Sammy: Yes.

Daddy: Ok, let me heat it first.

Sammy: (runs away from computer to Daddy) Hey! Don’t eat my spaghetti!

* * *

Pissed off

When 4 year old Sammy needs to pee, he usually tells Mummy or Daddy: “I want to pee”.  Today, he grew up very very quickly:

Sammy: Mummy. . . I need to piss!"

* * *

God is Rich

Daddy was teaching Sammy how to pray the Our Father

Daddy: Our Father who art in heaven…

Sammy: Our Father who art in heaven…

Daddy: Hallowed by they name

Sammy: Hallowed be diamond.

 

* * *

Spelling Lesson

Sammy really likes learning how to read.  He’s able to recognise at least 20 words now, and he can spell some from memory.

One day while Daddy and Sammy are watching TV together:

Sammy: Daddy can you spell ‘Duh’

Daddy: (not sure what word Sammy said) What word?

Sammy: Duh!  Can you spell ‘Duh’

Daddy: Sure. It’s D-U-H.

Sammy: That’s not right.  Duh is spelled T-H-E.

* * *

Fighting Words

When Sammy picks up new phrases, sometimes he gets them just a little bit wrong.

One day, Sammy and Dominic are playing martial arts fighting:

Sammy: (in kung fu stance) You… won’t… pay… for… this!

 

* * *

Cooking magic

Sammy likes to help Mummy cook. He is also practicing doing his magic card tricks and always practices the phrase: “Pick a card… any card.”

Mummy: Sammy, get a fork from the drawer.

Sammy: (talking to himself) Get a fork…any fork.

* * *

Fool proof magic trick

Sammy wants to perform the magic card trick, but he’s not having success in finding from the deck the card Daddy picked. 

This time he comes up with a fool proof plan.

Sammy: (holding out a ‘deck’ made up of only one card) Daddy, pick a card! Any card!

* * *

Young magicians

Dominic has gotten an interest in performing magic card tricks. The other children got the bug too, even 3 year old Sammy.

Sammy: (holding out a deck of cards) Daddy, pick a card! Any card!

Daddy: (picks a card)

Sammy: Now put it back.

Daddy: (puts back the card)

Sammy: (shuffles the cards and then starts looking for the card).  Is this your card?

Daddy: No

Sammy: (picks out another card). Is this your card?

Daddy: Nope.

Sammy: (perplexed) But which one is your card?

* * *

My Other Mother

Sammy has learned how to cross his eyes.

Sammy: (eyes crossed and looking at Mummy) Look! I have two Mummies!

* * *

A passion for nothing

While watching Herbie (the love bug), the lead actress tells her Dad: “Racing is in my blood!”

Daddy: Dominic, is racing in your blood?

Dominic: No, science is in my blood, then running, then kung fu.

Daddy: How about you Pia, what’s in your blood?

Pia: Nothing.

* * *

Counting with the head

Sammy likes to learn while pooing so we teach him counting, ABCs, etc while he sits and does his thing.

Daddy: (holding up three fingers) Sammy, how many fingers?

Sammy: (points at each finger while counting) one…two…three!

Daddy: (holds up 5 fingers) How many?

Sammy: (points at each finger while counting) one…two…three…four…five!

Daddy: (wants Sammy to count mentally without pointing) Don’t use your fingers, just count in your head.

Sammy: Count with my head?

Daddy: (holds up four fingers) Yes

Sammy: (touches each finger with his forehead and counts) one…two…three…four!

* * *

Worm Boy

Mummy was talking to the kids about gardening.

Mummy: It’s good for the plants if there are worms in the soil cause they make holes in the soil for the plants to grow into.

Sammy: But I can make holes in the soil with a stick!

* * *

Help

Everyone at home was helping Pia with her homework – to build a diorama.

Mummy: Oh nice, everyone is helping Pia.

Sammy: (wants to say he’s helping too) And I’m helping myself!

* * *

I only have nine lives

Sammy did something to one of Domu’s stuff.  Domu was very angry.

Domu: Sammy! Why did you ruin my things!  I will kill you!

Sammy: (scared but indignant) Don’t kill me!

Domu stops.

Sammy: Don’t kill me ever again!

* * *

Whip it

Daddy was working on his computer.  He overhears:

Pia: Sammy you better tell Daddy what you did or else I will whip you!

* * *

Birthday Greetings from…

dear domo,

                  a very pleasant and happy birhtday to you.you are now a young handsome man.how i wish you could e-mail me and marrate to us abot mama,papa,pia,and sam.i miss you all.i aften talk about you to make your cousins here be familiar.you youngest cousin mastered your names.i hope you dont forget me.I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

                   GRANDMA

dear domo,

                 happy b-day cousin.how tall are you are?are you enjoying your schooling??i hope we will also see each other in person.

     BYE AND ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

                   GAIL

Biology Lesson

Daddy was assisting Sammy to poo.  He thought this might be a good time to teach sammy some science.

Daddy: Sammy, do you know where poo comes from?

Sammy: (thinks a bit, then looks Daddy straight in the eyes) From my butt.

* * *

When will we laugh?

Daddy borrowed a comedy movie:

Daddy: Hey Dominic, Pia, come here watch this. It’s a funny movie.

The children sat down and watched. 

After 5 minutes of watching parts where there was nothing funny:

Pia: Daddy, when will we laugh?

* * *

Food critic

The children were having lunch.  3-year old Sammy likes Mummy’s cooking:

Sammy: Good job Mummy! This tastes like something!

* * *

Food in the appropriate place

Daddy was busy at the computer.  Sammy comes up to him:

Sammy: Daddy, I need food

Daddy: (busy) uh-huh. Food?

Sammy: Yes, I need food.

Daddy: You need food?

Sammy: Yes, in my mouth.

Daddy: Food in your mouth? You want to eat?

Sammy: Yes!

* * *

Card by Pia

Pia likes creating greeting cards on the fly:

Season’s Greetings from Hong Kong

Bring it on

Sammy wants to play on the computer. It is currently off. He wants to run it on:

Sammy: Daddy, can I take on the computer?

* * *

How to Grow My Bean

By Sophia

How to kill Asuwangs

Daddy was telling the children about traditional Philippine ghosts and ghouls:

Daddy: And there’s the asuwang, the most evil and most scariest of all

Dominic: Can you kill it?

Daddy: You can’t kill it, but you can hang garlic around your windows so it can’t come close to you.  It’s afraid of garlic.

Dominic: Does it have to be garlic?

Daddy: Yes

Dominic: Why can’t we use peanuts?

* * *

The Hick

Sammy has picked up a new expression (‘what the heck’).

One day, while playing with the computer:

Sammy: Hey, look I have no more life…what the hick!

Or

Sammy: There’s no more chips…what the hick!

* * *

If it looks like strawberry and sounds like strawberry then it must be strawberry

Sammy is eating ice cream strawberry cheesecake. He notices the red jelly topping and starts licking it:

Sammy: Yum…it sounds like strawberry!

* * *

The Fact of Life

3-year old Sammy has been having tantrums, complaining about everything.  He’s starting to drive exasperate Mummy.

Mummy: <Sigh> Sammy, give me a break.

Sammy: Mummy, there is no break!

* * *

Robot

Sammy is walking about the house pretending to be a robot.

Sammy: I…am…a…robot.  I…am…a…robot. I…am…a…robot.

After a while, he goes to Mummy.

Sammy: Mummy…I…need…to…poo.

* * *

Giving way

Sammy is very headstrong and always wants to get his way.  Still, sometimes he doesn’t give us too much trouble.

Mummy: Sammy, turn that TV off, it’s time to eat.

Sammy: I’m watching

Mummy: Turn it off now. We will eat.

Sammy: Alright, stinky butt!

* * *

Wednesday Bath

Sammy always refers to events occuring on ‘Wednesday’.  He’s very headstrong and always wants to get his way. 

Today he needs to take a bath but he doesn’t want to:

Daddy: Sammy, take your clothes off. We’ll take a bath.

Sammy: I don’t want to take a bath.

Daddy: Come on now, hurry.

Sammy: But I don’t want to take a bath!

Daddy: You have to take a bath.  You’re stinky!

Sammy: I’m not stinky!  I already take a bath on Wednesday!

* * *

3 Wishes

Daddy and the children are talking about what they would wish for if a genie gave them 3 wishes:

Daddy: Sammy, what will you wish for?

Sammy: A leaf!

* * *

C is for Dog

Daddy and Sammy are working through a picture book.

Daddy: (pointing to a cat') ‘C’, Kuh…Kuh…Cat

Sammy: (pointing to a pair of pants) ‘P’, Uhh…uhh..underwear

* * *

B is for Cat

Daddy and Sammy are looking at a picture book.

Daddy: (pointing to an apple) ‘A’, Ah..Ah…Apple.

Sammy: (pointing to a boat) ‘B’, Buh…Buh…Ship

* * *

Doomsday

Mummy hates it when the children play with water and wet the floor. 

The children know this and avoid playing with water. Except Pia.

One day while playing with her toys at the sink, Pia spills water all over the kitchen floor.

Pia: (quick glance at Mummy) Oops!

Pia:  (running away) I’m doomed!

* * *

Greate taste

Sammy likes experimenting with expressions that he picks up around him. One day while eating in the kitchen:

Sammy: Mmmm. This is good!  It tases like something!

* * *

Ice

It is summer and often very hot. Sammy has gotten to drinking iced water.  He frequently asks for water with ice cubes.

Sammy: Daddy, can I have water with ice please?

Daddy puts a couple of ice cubes in Sammy’s cup.

Sammy: Daddy, I said I want four ice cubes

Daddy: How many do you have?

Sammy: (counts) One…two!

Daddy puts a couple more in.

Sammy: (counts) One…two…three…four.  Good job Daddy!

* * *

Biology lesson

Pia is in grade 1.  One day, Pia approaches Daddy:

Pia: Daddy, I’m pregnant!

(She stuffed a balloon inside the back of her pyjamas, so that her butt looks very big.)

Daddy: When you’re pregnant your bum doesn’t get big. Your tummy does.

Pia: Yes it does!

* * *

Wake up…I need to poo

Mummy is taking a nap.  Sammy tiptoes to Mummy and softly whispers in her ear:

Sammy: Mummy…I need to poo

* * *

Slush

It has only been recently become apparent to us that Sammy uses ‘sl’ when pronouncing a word that begins with ‘fl’.

After making poo:

Sammy: I want to slush the toilet.

Seeing a cartoon character fly:

Sammy: Look! He can sly!

Holding a flower:

Sammy: Look Daddy, a slahwer!

 

* * *

Werewolf

Sammy likes eating ‘chocolate’.  This is hazelnut spread which he likes to eat direct from a spoon.  One day he scooped an extra large serving, ate it all up messily, with the brown stuff all over his mouth.

Mummy: Come Sammy, let’s wash your face.

Sammy: (always the contrarian) I don’t need to wash my face!

Mummy: Your mouth is so messy.  Look at yourself in the mirror.

Sammy goes to the mirror and considers his appearance.

Sammy: Mummy, I look like a werewolf!

* * *

Bob the Builder

Mummy and Sammy were walking to school.  They come across a construction worker along the footpath:

Sammy: (singing loudly) Bob the Builder…

(If you don’t know Bob the Builder…http://www.bobthebuilder.com/au/index.asp)

 

* * *

Post-tantrum

Pia had a tantrum again.  Daddy wants her to be a bit more considerate to Mummy.

Daddy: Pia, whenever you have tantrums, it can sometimes make Mummy feel sick

Pia: How can she be sick?

Daddy: (grasping) Uhm…some of her body parts may become weaker and not function properly.

Pia: Like her tooth?

* * *

The Principal, 2

Pia says she wants to be a principal because she wants to “ring the bell.”

Daddy: (laughing) You want to be a principal because you want to ring the bell?

Pia: (becomes angry) It’s not funny! It’s very important. If nobody rings the bell, how will we know that it’s time to play. School will be SO BORING!

* * *

The Principal

Every now and then, Daddy or Mummy asks the children what they want to be when they grow up.

Daddy: Pia, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Pia: I want to be a principal.

Daddy: (Impressed with her ambition. Pia used to want to be a ‘mere’ teacher). Why do you want to be a principal?

Pia: So I can ring the bell.

* * *

Big Hum Theory

Daddy’s current favourite show is Big Bang Theory.  The children love watching it too.  They especially like the catchy theme song. Whenever it plays, they sing along.  Of course, they don’t know all the words:

The children: …14 billion years ago…we built the wall… we built the pyramids…hum… hum… geology…hum… hum… biology… hum..hum..and it all started with a big BANG!

* * *

Cinders and Ashes

Sammy loves watching Thomas the Train, whose favourite expression of surprise seems to be ‘Cinders and ashes!’

One day while Mummy was hanging the clothes, Sammy was lpaying in the grass and soil with his digger, pretending it was Thomas:

Sammy: Choo-choo….cinders and ashes!

* * *

Special burger

We were having burgers for dinner. The children love it. Pia wants another one:

Pia: Daddy, can I have another hung burger?

* * *

Sleep

Sammy always sleeps beside Mummy.

It’s 9:30pm.  Already past the children’s bedtime. Mummy is getting sleepy.

Mummy: (yawning) Sammy, let’s go to bed now.

Sammy: (doesn’t want to go to sleep yet) I watching Achie play.

Mummy: (threatens) I’m tired. If you don’t go to bed now, I will sleep without you.

Sammy: (freedom) Yes, you sleep Mummy.

* * *