Sammy has been making comments about how poor our family is. "Is this why we're so poor?" is a constant remark when we ask him to do his chores.
Mummy: We're going to try different foods.
Daddy: To give you exposure to different cultures.
Mummy: We'll cook some couscous. It's South African.
Daddy: I think it's Mediterranean as well. We'll be Mediterraneans. (To the kids) Do you know what Mediterranean means?
Sammy: Poor?
Daddy was wondering how Sammy was coping in his new school.
Daddy: Are you still on top of your subjects?
Sammy: I never was.
Sammy often claims his classmates lunch are 'restaurant grade' while our home cooking is crap.
Mummy discovers Sammy's lunch box in his bag. It's moldy, apparently uncleaned for days.
Daddy: So your friends bring good food to school and you bring mold?
* * *
Daddy needs the kids to do something.
Daddy: Guys, come here.
Sammy: (Knows it's something to do with chores) If you're looking for guys, then I'll be a trans.
* * *
Sammy thinks he needs more time to himself so he can work on his homework. He asks to be excused from today’s home study.
Sammy: Can I do my homework instead of studying?
Daddy: You play on the computer for 1.5 hours in the morning and 4 hours when you come home from school. Use some of that time to do your school homework.
Sammy: But I came home late from school today. I joined the STEM club.
Daddy: (Testing him) What does STEM stand for?
Sammy: I don’t know.
Pia: (Chiming in, unsure) Science… Technology… I forgot what E stands for.
Sammy: Entertainment?
* * *
Sammy and Daddy were going through a portion of the Odyssey. We were reading about how Calypso imprisoned Odysseus on her island and that the goddess Athena was on Odysseus’s side, while the god of the sea Poseidon was against Odysseus. It’s all too long for Sammy and he just wants to get it over with.
Daddy: Can you think about the implications if you were Odysseus and have one god protecting you, and another wanting to kill you?
Sammy: Daddy, how can I explain to you that I do not care?
* * *
Sammy has been going around saying ‘Nontu’. Nobody paid attention until he explained that it was his Italian expression of “No, you” (Non, tu).
* * *
Sammy was working through some vocabulary problems. He was having problems.
Daddy: (Getting impatient) Sammy, so are you done?
Sammy: This is too hard. I can’t do this. This is the free version of Sammy, not the Premium version. I can do very little.
* * *
Sammy was reading about the Odyssey. We learned that the Odyssey was written by Homer, who was from Greece.
Daddy: If Homer was from Greece, in what language was the Odyssey written in?
Sammy: I don’t know….Greekish?
* * *
Sammy was practicing how to do brainstorming. The topic was ‘Qualities of a good leader’. He cannot come up with a single thought.
Daddy: You were a junior school council leader, what did you observe from the best leaders in that group?
Sammy: We were not leaders. Nobody listened to us
Daddy: But weren’t you the leaders of the students?
Sammy: No! Seriously, nobody cared about us.
Daddy: So what did you do a junior school council leaders?
Sammy: We had to take out the rubbish and wheel the rubbish bins
Daddy: So it was just a trick to make you do work?
Sammy: Basically
* * *
Sammy was doing his reading practice. He and Daddy were going through William Wordsworth’s “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud”.
Sammy: (Reading) “I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats high 'o’er vales and hills”. THIS IS SO BORING!
Daddy: Imagine what you would see down below if you were a cloud.
Sammy: Why would I want to? I don’t want to.
* * *
Sammy approached Daddy with an idea.
Sammy: Daddy, you know how they remove the cream from milk and make skim milk? What if they made milk that’s only made from the cream?
Daddy: Yeah, they do. It’s called ‘cream’.
Then Daddy sees an opportunity to inspire Sammy:
Daddy: By the way, have you heard the expression ‘the cream rises to the top’? Do you know what it means?
Sammy: (Spider-sensing that ‘education’ is about to happen) I don’t want to know! My brain is not permitting me! My ears are blocking out what I don’t want to hear! (and runs away).
* * *
Sammy, Domu, and Daddy went to IKEA to buy some stuff. After shopping, Daddy treated them to a ‘buffet’: all you can eat sausages at IKEA (hotdog in a bun, $1 each).
IKEA still offers free drink refills, but their drink dispenser no longer had Coke or Sprite or any other recognisable brands. Instead, they had other fizzy drinks (lime, peach, soda water, etc).
After downing 3 sausages, Sammy went on to try each of the 4 drink flavours. He liked none of them.
Sammy: Oh crap. I wish I didn’t finish the sausages before trying the drinks. Now i have to live with the aftertaste of the drinks.
Daddy: You eat your food according to what aftertaste you want to have?
Sammy: Yep, that’s what I do. Usually I eat my favourite last so that when I burp I get to taste it again. Now I have these horrible drink in my aftertaste instead of sausages.
* * *
Sammy joined the mile-high club -- the other mile-high club.
Suffering through 9 hours of a 14-hour flight from MEL to LAX -- his first ever flight since he was six months old -- Sammy started to feel like throwing up.
He and Pia ran to where the toilets are. But each toilet were showing a red light – occupied!
Panic!
But they spotted one showing green. They rushed to it and pushed the door open. Inside was an older gentleman brushing his teeth.
But Sammy couldn’t hold it in anymore. He vomited on the floor of the toilet, surprising and terrifying the man still inside, who rushed out, saving himself
* * *
Sammy has acquired a new automated response. Partly joking, partly trying to get away from his chores.
Daddy: Sammy, time to study.
Sammy: No, you!
---
Daddy: Sammy, throw out the rubbish.
Sammy: No, you!
---
Daddy: Sammy, take a shower now.
Sammy: No, you!
---
Daddy: Sammy,…
Sammy: No, you!
Daddy:… eat some chocolates.
Sammy: No, me!
* * *
Sammy was reading the short story ‘The Washwoman’ (by Isaac Singer). The poor, old washwoman had a rich son who abandoned her and left her to fend for herself.
Daddy: So, Sammy, when you grow up and become rich, don’t be like that woman’s son and abandon Mummy and me.
Sammy: Actually, I think I will be like that rich son.
Daddy: So, you’ll abandon us?
Sammy: Basically.
* * *
Sammy turned on the internet (actually the cable modem connection to the internet). After a few minutes he notices Daddy turning on his computer.
Sammy: (teasingly) Hey Daddy, I turned on the internet so you don't have to wait 5 minutes for it to turn on. Are you happy?
Daddy: Yes, I'm delirious.... Do you know what 'delirious' means?
Sammy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! Do not try to teach me anything when it's not time to study. I don't want to learn anything new! Don't you dare teach me...
The family has been watching Breaking Bad on DVD. It's Sammy's job to cook rice (Sammy's 11 years old). Sometimes it takes a lot of reminders, especially when he's in front of the computer, which is All.The.Time. He tries to delay having to do the chore by pretending to not know what it is he needs to do.
Daddy: Sammy, cook the rice.
Sammy: Cook meth?
Daddy called the home number from the office. Sammy answered the phone. He knew it was Daddy calling.
Sammy: (In automated voice recorder tone) You have reached Sammy's number. If you want to talk to Sammy, please press '1'. If you are Daddy, please go away. BEEEEEEP.
Sammy was busy playing on the computer. Desperately enjoying the last day of term break (he doesn't know there's one more week of vacation left).
He had just finished doing the Gauss Year 7 exam and Daddy wants to review his mistakes.
Daddy: Sammy, come on, let's review your mistakes.
Sammy: (hard at play on the computer) Daddy, please, you know better than that...
